lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
