i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
