I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize