GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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