if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
