where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
