so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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