I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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