I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
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just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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