I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
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He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
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Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
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