so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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