Kiss
Puke
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Boobs speak an international language.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
