Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
