I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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