i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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