I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: I just woke up from my shower
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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