the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
