UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
should my penis look like a turkey
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
