I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
