I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
