This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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