I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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