I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
