For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
