All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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