its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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