So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
