Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
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u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
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I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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