I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize