I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
