Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
