We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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