Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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