He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
