holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
