there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
