Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
