I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
