oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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