Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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