you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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