Swine flu. Run for my life!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
