why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
