covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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