this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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