Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Sober January is a disaster.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
