It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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