She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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