I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
