it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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