My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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