hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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