so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
