nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
