I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
